Conflicting Bible teaching of the week:

November 24, 2009 by theBEattitude

God commands to not create graven images or idols of ANYTHING…

Exodus 20:4
“You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.”

Leviticus 26:1
“Do not make idols or set up an image or a sacred stone for yourselves.”

Deuteronomy 27:15
“Cursed is the man who carves an image or casts an idol—a thing detestable to the LORD, the work of the craftsman’s hands.”

…then turns around and gives specific directions on how to make idols and graven images.

Exodus 25:18-19
“Make two cherubim out of hammered gold at the ends of the cover. Make one cherub on one end and the second cherub on the other; make the cherubim of one piece with the cover, at the two ends.”

1 Kings 7:15-29
He cast two bronze pillars, each eighteen cubits high and twelve cubits around, by line. 16 He also made two capitals of cast bronze to set on the tops of the pillars; each capital was five cubits high … He made the Sea of cast metal, circular in shape, measuring ten cubits from rim to rim and five cubits high. It took a line of thirty cubits to measure around it … The Sea stood on twelve bulls, three facing north, three facing west, three facing south and three facing east. The Sea rested on top of them, and their hindquarters were toward the center. On the panels between the uprights were lions, bulls and cherubim—and on the uprights as well. Above and below the lions and bulls were wreaths of hammered work.

And let’s not forget all of the graven images of the Mother Mary, Saints and crucifixion crosses that adorn churches around the world. I guess the second commandment doesn’t count anymore.

Jesus sacrificed himself to himself to save the world from … himself?

November 17, 2009 by theBEattitude

This is the sixteenth chapter in the series My List: Believe the Bible? Read why I started this list in About Me.

“According to the Christian revelation, God’s own great love propitiated his own holy wrath through the gift of his own dear Son, who took our place, bore our sin and died our death. Thus God himself gave himself to save us from himself.”

—John Stott, The Message of Romans, 115

This quote by John Stott (British Anglican clergyman and leader in the worldwide evangelical movement) sums up Christianity very well. God requires blood and death as a payment for sin. To appease God’s need for blood and death, he decided to sacrifice himself to himself instead.

It became clear to God that Jews could not live up to his wise laws. They continually used his name in vain, worked on the Sabbath and sometimes didn’t kill disobedient children and homosexuals. Ritualistically slaughtering goats and lambs didn’t seem to be working, so he had to come up with a new way to deal with sin.

Solution:
To impregnate a woman with himself, live as a human for thirty years in sinless anonymity, and eventually be slaughtered as a blood sacrifice to himself at age 33. Brilliant.

All sarcasm aside, how does this story make any sense? Why does this god require blood when he teaches Christians to love their enemies and turn the other cheek? Do as I say, but not as I do?

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Mark 10:44-46

I’ve heard the analogy that the act of Jesus’ sacrifice is the same as me taking a bullet to save my family. This sounds like a very noble analogy, but it only works if you’re also the one holding the gun. A better analogy is you have your family held at gunpoint, but instead kill yourself to save them from yourself. I guess that is a loving act in some sort of demented way.

The fact is the story of Jesus is not only based in highly unreliable testimony from unknown authors, but also completely illogical. You can’t say “I love you” and follow it up with a fiery eternal threat. You also can’t claim to be just and require blood to pay for every petty mistake. But you certainly can’t look at the story of a bloody human sacrifice as anything more than a primitive and barbaric relic from an ancient religion that should have become extinct many years ago.

God’s protection from swine flu through a holy water dispenser. It’s a miracle!

November 14, 2009 by theBEattitude
flu-holy-water

Inventor Luciano Marabese displays a prototype of his holy water dispenser.

ROME (Reuters) – An Italian inventor has combined faith and ingenuity to come up with a way to keep church traditions alive for the faithful without the fear of contracting swine flu — an electronic holy water dispenser.

The terracotta dispenser, used in the northern town of Fornaci di Briosco, functions like an automatic soap dispenser in public washrooms — a churchgoer waves his or her hand under a sensor and the machine spurts out holy water.
Catholics entering and leaving churches usually dip their hands into fonts full of holy water — which has been blessed by a priest — and make the sign of the cross.

But fear of contracting the H1N1 virus has led many in Italy — where some 15 people have died of swine flu — not to dip their hands in the communal water font.

“It’s great,” said worshipper Marta Caimm as she entered the church. “Thanks to this we are not worried about catching swine flu. It is the right thing for the times,” she said.

Why would God allow a flu virus get into blessed holy water? And what is the point of something being “holy” if it can still be polluted with a dangerous disease? The virus will have been blessed by a priest, giving you the privilege to die from a holy virus. So you would have that going for you … which is nice.

By the way, someone really should have suggested that the designer make the dispenser look a little less like a urinal. Seriously.

holy-water-dispenser

The Catholic Church’s approach to stop gay marriage: Quit feeding homeless people.

November 12, 2009 by theBEattitude

The Catholic Church has added a new act to their long list of traditions and rituals. Punishing people who are need of social service to force their political agenda.

The Washington Post — The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn’t change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.

When will the Catholic Church finally change their name to something more truly representative? Wouldn’t a name like: “The Catholic Gay Hating, Women Discriminating, and Abortion Obsessive Church” be more accurate? The public view of the Catholic Church looks more like a political lobby group than a church.

Regardless of where a Catholic or any Christian stands on this topic, you can’t act out this level of hypocrisy and expect anyone to take your church or the God you worship seriously.

Catholic-Gay

Conflicting Bible teaching of the week:

November 10, 2009 by theBEattitude

Jesus was sent by God only for the chosen people of Israel and not the Gentiles…

Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon.  Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.”

Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”

He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”

The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.

He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.”

…unless you beg like a dog to earn Jesus’ pity.

“Yes, Lord,” she said, “but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.”

Then Jesus answered, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

–Matthew 15:21-28

Post updated 11/06/09  4:25 CST

A bit of wisdom for “Ass-theists”: Evolution is very “ridiclious”.

November 3, 2009 by theBEattitude

I don’t usually call out people’s comments, but this one was posted today to an older post that most people would miss. It was in response to my post, “Why are Christians afraid of atheists?

I have no problem with people disagreeing with me on this blog and welcome all comments. It makes the discussion much more interesting. But it’s been a while since I’ve had a gem like this one. Enjoy.

From commenter Lizzie:

I’m not afraid of “Atheists”, they just annoy me. Everytime I meet one, they try to shove their Science down my throat. Therfore, naming them “Science Thumpers” and “butt hurt”. As you can see. >.>

Second of all, atheists say that were ignorant, because we don’t want to accept the so called, “proof”. Well guess what honey, we can say the same thing. Needless to say, atheists tend to act “all that”. I am a Christian because I believe there IS A God. I don’t care if the president disagrees, either.

I dont know where atheists get that they are all about “logic”. Because for me, it’s LOGICAL that God created this world. therfore, “logic” can mean differently, to different people. I appreciate Science, because it has helped find medicanes, etc. BUT I will not give Science the credit, for the creation of the world. Evolution is very ridiclious.

Atheists always main argument is WERE RATIONAL DAMIT. It makes them dillusional, not us christians. I’m gonna sum this up and say, Christians (as atheists try to make them) are not evil. We will stand up for whatever we believe, just like anyone else. Yeah sadly, they may call atheists EVIL, but atheists call christians BIBLE THUMPERS, And pathetic excuses for humans….yeah atheists aren’t all righteous, like they try to make themselves seem. Leading up to them being Butt hurt. Flat out butt hurt.

Question for Ass-theists, I mean atheists: why do you feel the need to put our beliefs down? Hmm?

I will continue to be a Christian. I don’t care what people think, they can rant all they want. Kthxbai.

I don’t know about you, but I’m convinced. Ending up butt hurt sounds pretty terrible to me.

Conflicting Bible teaching of the week:

November 3, 2009 by theBEattitude

Did Jesus keep secrets, give special treatment to some and intentionally confuse others so they wouldn’t be forgiven?

Yes.

The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?” He replied, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them.
Matthew 13:10-11

He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables so that,
” ‘they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!’
Mark 4:11, Luke 8:10

He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything.
Mark 4:34

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “The Christ of God.” Jesus strictly warned them not to tell this to anyone.
Luke 9:20-21, Mark 8:29-30

Then he warned his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Christ.
Matthew 16:20

No.

“I have spoken openly to the world,” Jesus replied. “I always taught in synagogues or at the temple, where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret.
John 18:20

The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.“ Then Jesus declared, “I who speak to you am he.”
John 4:25-26

I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism.
Acts 10:34

God does not show favoritism.
Romans 2:11

Evil demons and curses live in Halloween candy. Just ask Pat Robertson.

October 29, 2009 by theBEattitude

Pat Robertson’s Web site has just issued a bulletin warning Americans that demons are lurking in our Halloween candy. And it wasn’t a joke.

Christian Broadcasting Network writer, Kimberly Daniels, claims that curses and demons sneak into bags of Halloween candy at grocery stores.

“Most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches, I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.”

“Halloween is much more than a holiday filled with fun and tricks or treats, it is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon.”

Consider yourselves warned. Eat too much Haloween candy and you could become addicted to drinking blood and start howling at the moon. Or you could denounce Halloween candy and become a clinically paranoid Christian nut job.

I like to live dangerously, so I’ll take my chances on a demon possessed candy corn.

evil-candy

(via)

© Image from Zazzle.com

When prayer fails … just move to the parking lot.

October 26, 2009 by theBEattitude

The Detroit NewsA bomb threat today forced about 200 worshippers at the church of City Council candidate Andre Spivey to host services in its parking lot.

Spivey said police informed officials of St. Paul AME about 9:30 a.m. that at least one anonymous caller claimed three bombs were inside the church on Hunt near Chene. Three canine units found nothing, and the church is expected to re-open Monday.

Christians can’t even trust God to protect their families while attending church. Yet virtually every Christian prayer includes a request for God’s protection. Why?

I receive a weekly spam email from a Christian friend with a list of prayer requests for his family and friends. Most of these prayer requests are for God’s wing (or hand) to shield and protect them. What purpose does this type of intercessory prayer serve? They are a pointless waste of time. Even if you are convinced a god exists, there is absolutely no reason to believe he or she cares at all what happens to you here on earth.

“If you can’t trust Jesus, you can’t trust anyone.”

October 22, 2009 by theBEattitude

Jesus-Liar-Lunatic-Lord

This headline is a quote is from an apologist on Carm.org attempting to prove that the story of Noah’s Ark actually happened. The article was quite comical, but I thought his comment was worth discussing.

Christians have a special gift for discerning which parts of the Bible are real and which parts are parables, allegories or Jewish folklore. Every Christian has a different opinion.

Jesus claimed to be the Son of God and is quoted confirming scripture in the gospels over and over again. This leads you to only 3 rational conclusions. Jesus is the Son of God and is confirming that the Old Testament stories are true. Jesus was a liar and a lunatic. Or the gospels are false testimony with inaccurate quotations of a man that may or may not have actually existed. So I ask Christians, which is it?

Let’s look at a few of the examples when Jesus confirmed Old Testament scripture:

The Ark

“As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.” —Matthew 24:37-39

Sodom and Gomorra

“It was the same as happened in the days of Lot: they were eating, they were drinking, they were buying, they were selling, they were planting, they were building; but on the day that Lot went out from Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. It will be just the same on the day that the Son of Man is revealed. On that day, the one who is on the housetop and whose goods are in the house must not go down to take them out; and likewise the one who is in the field must not turn back.” —Luke 17:28-32

Adam and Eve and the creation story

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” —Matthew 19:4-6

Cain and Able from the creation story

“From the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, who was killed between the altar and the sanctuary. Yes, I tell you, this generation will be held responsible for it all.” —Luke 11:51

Jonah living in a whale’s belly for three days

“For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.” —Matthew 12:40

How many Christians actually believe the creation story? How many believe the story of Noah’s Ark? And how many think a man can live in the belly of a whale for three days? Jesus not only believed it, he confirmed the stories in the Gospels. Is it possible for Jesus to be a liar and the Son of Man? If not, how is it possible to disagree with Jesus and still call yourself a Christian?