Pat Robertson’s Web site has just issued a bulletin warning Americans that demons are lurking in our Halloween candy. And it wasn’t a joke.
Christian Broadcasting Network writer, Kimberly Daniels, claims that curses and demons sneak into bags of Halloween candy at grocery stores.
“Most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches, I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.”
“Halloween is much more than a holiday filled with fun and tricks or treats, it is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon.”
Consider yourselves warned. Eat too much Haloween candy and you could become addicted to drinking blood and start howling at the moon. Or you could denounce Halloween candy and become a clinically paranoid Christian nut job.
I like to live dangerously, so I’ll take my chances on a demon possessed candy corn.
The Detroit News—A bomb threat today forced about 200 worshippers at the church of City Council candidate Andre Spivey to host services in its parking lot.
Spivey said police informed officials of St. Paul AME about 9:30 a.m. that at least one anonymous caller claimed three bombs were inside the church on Hunt near Chene. Three canine units found nothing, and the church is expected to re-open Monday.
Christians can’t even trust God to protect their families while attending church. Yet virtually every Christian prayer includes a request for God’s protection. Why?
I receive a weekly spam email from a Christian friend with a list of prayer requests for his family and friends. Most of these prayer requests are for God’s wing (or hand) to shield and protect them. What purpose does this type of intercessory prayer serve? They are a pointless waste of time. Even if you are convinced a god exists, there is absolutely no reason to believe he or she cares at all what happens to you here on earth.
This headline is a quote is from an apologist on Carm.org attempting to prove that the story of Noah’s Ark actually happened. The article was quite comical, but I thought his comment was worth discussing.
Christians have a special gift for discerning which parts of the Bible are real and which parts are parables, allegories or Jewish folklore. Every Christian has a different opinion.
Jesus claimed to be the Son of God and is quoted confirming scripture in the gospels over and over again. This leads you to only 3 rational conclusions. Jesus is the Son of God and is confirming that the Old Testament stories are true. Jesus was a liar and a lunatic. Or the gospels are false testimony with inaccurate quotations of a man that may or may not have actually existed. So I ask Christians, which is it?
Let’s look at a few of the examples when Jesus confirmed Old Testament scripture:
The Ark
“As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.” —Matthew 24:37-39
Sodom and Gomorra
“It was the same as happened in the days of Lot: they were eating, they were drinking, they were buying, they were selling, they were planting, they were building; but on the day that Lot went out from Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. It will be just the same on the day that the Son of Man is revealed. On that day, the one who is on the housetop and whose goods are in the house must not go down to take them out; and likewise the one who is in the field must not turn back.” —Luke 17:28-32
Adam and Eve and the creation story
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” —Matthew 19:4-6
Cain and Able from the creation story
“From the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, who was killed between the altar and the sanctuary. Yes, I tell you, this generation will be held responsible for it all.” —Luke 11:51
Jonah living in a whale’s belly for three days
“For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.” —Matthew 12:40
How many Christians actually believe the creation story? How many believe the story of Noah’s Ark? And how many think a man can live in the belly of a whale for three days? Jesus not only believed it, he confirmed the stories in the Gospels. Is it possible for Jesus to be a liar and the Son of Man? If not, how is it possible to disagree with Jesus and still call yourself a Christian?
It’s nice to see Christians see past their differences to find common ground to build God’s kingdom. God hates homosexuals and proclaimed women should be subordinate to men. The current trend of gay rights and empowered women is very threatening to God’s plan.
ROME, Italy (CNN)– The Vatican said Tuesday it has worked out a way for groups of Anglicans who are dissatisfied with their faith to join the Catholic Church.
The process will enable groups of Anglicans to become Catholic and recognize the pope as their leader, yet have parishes that retain Anglican rites, Vatican officials said. The move comes some 450 years after King Henry VIII broke from Rome and created the Church of England, forerunner of the Anglican Communion.
The number of Anglicans wishing to join the Catholic Church has increased in recent years as the Anglican Church has welcomed the ordination of women and openly gay clergy and blessed homosexual partnerships, said Cardinal William Joseph Levada, the head of the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
Williams, who also is rector of All Saints Anglican Church in Fountain Valley, California, said his parishioners have generally been “very warmly receiving” Tuesday’s announcement.
“It is encouraging for them to know their worship experience wouldn’t be turned upside down by the Roman Catholic Church,” Williams said. “The person in the pew should see very little difference in the way we pray. We might be asked to pray aloud for any pope who happens to be in office, in addition to praying for our primate.
“Really, there’d be very little other difference.”
Apparently the only thing that changes for the converted Anglican Church is their money now goes to the Vatican and the Pope will rule over their church. It’s a win-win. More money and power for the Vatican and Anglicans can ward off scary gay people and women with the audacity to want leadership positions. Praise the Lord.
“Religion. It’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.” -Charlie Chaplin
“By simple common sense I don’t believe in God, in none.” -Charlie Chaplin
“I inadvertently came upon an edition of Robert Ingersoll’s Essays and Lectures. This was an exciting discovery; his atheism confirmed my own belief that the horrific cruelty of the Old Testament was degrading to the human spirit.” -Charlie Chaplin
“Man as an individual is a genius. But men in the mass form the headless monster, a great, brutish idiot that goes where prodded.” -Charlie Chaplin
“What do you want a meaning for? Life is a desire, not a meaning.” -Charlie Chaplin
“In the end, everything is a gag.” -Charlie Chaplin
The devil is roaming free to devour and take people captive at his will.
And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will. 2 Timothy 2:26
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8
The devil does not take people at his will and will flee from you if you resist him.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7
The devil is powerless in hell, tied and chained awaiting his fate on judgement day.
For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment. 2 Peter 2:4
And the angels which kept not their first estate, but left their own habitation, he hath reserved in everlasting chains under darkness unto the judgment of the great day. Jude 6
According to the Bible, what will happen in the end times? The following video gives us a window into how brainwashed religious people can become. It plays like a comedy spoof … but the true comedy is that the people in the video actually believe it.
The stages of “The Rapture”:
Christian mummies will pop out of their graves. (What happens to Christians who had their bodies cremated?)
Living Christians begin to vanish. Poof! David Copperfield style. (This part of the video is my favorite)
The Christian mummies and vanishing people float into the sky to meet Jesus in the clouds.
Then begins seven years of tribulation to punish the nonbelievers. (When Jesus returns, he wants to punish all living non-Christian people more severely than those who are already dead.)
After the seven year tribulation for all living non-Christians, they will to be sentenced to an eternal lake of fire to suffer for eternity.
Ahhh … what a loving and just God. Such righteous and justifiable punishment for anyone who would dare deny flawed ancient texts and primitive folklore. A few Jewish guys wrote it down 2,000+ years ago, so it must be true.
Just remember, if you see a mummy pop out of the ground later today … prepare to either vanish or suffer horrifically for the next seven years.
Under Christian theology, humans have the free will choice to accept or reject God and to follow or reject the temptation of sin. Assuming this version of reality is true, what happens when you go to heaven? Do you stop wanting to sin? Is it impossible to sin? Or can you still choose to reject God and be sent to hell?
I would guess that most Christians never think about this.And it brings up a number of questions.
If you stop wanting to sin in heaven:
If sin is a choice in heaven, you can still be immoral and harm other people. Thus making heaven an imperfect place.
The only deterrent to evil behavior is fear of consequences and guilt. If heaven has no fear, guilt or consequences, what is stopping people from evil behavior?
If God has the power to stop people from wanting to sin in heaven, why can’t he do it on earth?
If God makes it impossible to sin in heaven:
Why not bypass earth and create all people in heaven? Does God get joy from watching people suffer? Why put his “beloved” humans on an imperfect planet? Is our existence on earth some sort of twisted game?
If your free will taken away from you in heaven, how is that a reward? Do you become a slave with every day controlled like a mindless robot? If your free will is taken away, that makes you a prisoner.
Lastly, how did Satan fall away from God if he couldn’t sin in heaven?
If you can reject god and/or sin in heaven:
If you can sin in heaven and be sent to hell, how is it different than earth?
How could evil things happen in a so-called perfect place?
People would spend eternity avoiding sin and fearing God’s wrath. That doesn’t sound like a joyful eternity.
The idea of a perfect Christian heaven is flawed no matter how you look at it. Either you are a mindless drone, or God is some sort of ruling dictator in heaven still threatening people with hell. Under either description, heaven isn’t a perfect place.
Or there is always the possibility that heaven is an imaginary place invented by ancient Jewish men.
